I Don’t Matter

Three words. Three little words that I’ve run into all my life. I can’t remember the first time I ever heard this lie, but I can give you a list of people who have reiterated it to me over the years. Mostly with their actions, but one actually said it right to my face as our relationship ended. I have believed this lie many, many times. 

There’s something so desolate and hopeless about these three little words. Feelings of insecurity, depression, anxiety — they all are never ending company at rock bottom. Thinking that you don’t matter is one thing, but having other people tell you… It does something to your heart. 

There have been several times this year I have felt like I didn’t matter. Overlooked, ignored, left out, forgotten — you name it, I’ve felt it. 

I worked at a job for over a year where nothing I did was appreciated. Nothing. It didn’t matter, I didn’t matter. I was treated with complete disrespect every single day.
I worked relentlessly at home to take care of the house, but it seemed like it was never enough. No matter what I did, there was always something else I should’ve done instead. It wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough. 

I’ve watched my friends hang out together without me (Thanks so much, Facebook). And even plan trips and vacations without a second thought. I seem to be in this constant state of being uninvited. 

But more than any of this, one fact has caused more hurt. So much so, I didn’t even want to include it in this post. 
I’m now twenty-six. And single. Now add to that list — unemployed. Not enough. Uninvited. Friendless. Unwanted. Alone. 
There are days that it honestly feels like my nephew is the only person who cares that I’m here. And it breaks my heart to think that one day he might not feel that way. Like once he gets older he’ll figure out what everyone else apparently has and not want me either.
It would be very easy for me to stay in that place. To believe those lies, to just fail to exist. But the lies aren’t true. I matter. And so do you. 
Have you felt like you don’t matter? Overlooked? Forgotten? Not wanted? If you have, can i just encourage you for a second? 
You matter. SO much more than you realize right now. You are NOT overlooked and you are NOT forgotten. You are so very wanted. 

Sometimes our lives don’t play out the way we want them to. And sometimes the pain we’re left with as we stand surrounded by our broken dreams is way more than we think we can handle. But even in the midst of hurt, of rejection, of plain cruelty, we are not forgotten. 
God has a plan for me and He has a plan for you. He sees you. He hears you. He loves you so much. I’m gonna say that again, cause I don’t think you got it. The Creator of the ENTIRE universe, the One who hung the stars in the sky, He loves you. So much so, that He died for you. Let that sink in for a minute. 
No matter how unwanted you feel, no matter how hopeless you’re situation looks, even when you think no one cares — look up. God is always right there. 

When the future you had hoped for is burning, when the dreams you held so tight have lost their meaning — Know that you are not forgotten. 
God’s plan usually looks way different than ours, and it’s ALWAYS so much better.
Even when it feels like the world is against you, God is for you. That’s all that matters. 
Keep your head up. You will get through this! 
You are loved. You are wanted. You are pursued. You are bought with a price. And you do matter.

Xo — Britt

Keep On Walkin’

  

Some people are rude. Some are immature. Some are liars. Some are cheaters, and some are downright mean. But guess what? You don’t have to make a place for them in your heart or your life. 

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned on my journey to be brave at every opportunity is that the wrong people won’t always just exit your life. Sometimes you have to be brave and show them out. And sometimes when they linger on your door step, you have to gently shut the door in their face. 
I’m not saying you have to be mean back, though I’m sure you will want to be from time to time. My point is, it’s okay to want to punch them in the face, just don’t actually act on it. 

So I’m sure you’re wondering, Britt, how do you deal with horrible people and not vomit every time you see them? Well, sometimes it is definitely not easy. 

•The first thing you need to do when you face a terrible person is to pray for them. Depending on their level of rude, and just how much damage they have caused you, this can be really hard. But trust me, you need to pray for them. God will help you not punch them in the face. I promise. 

•Don’t sink down to their level. Take the high road. Again, not easy, I know. Especially when people are spreading lies about you and just being plain nasty to your face. If you are praying for the person and about the situation, taking the high road will become easier. Trust me. 

•Don’t you dare vent your frustrations out on social media. DON’T DO IT. I’m not even kidding. This will cause more trouble and more drama than it’s worth. I’ve had friends tell me that once they put these people on blast, it’ll all end. So far, they’ve never been right. You’re basically throwing wood on the fire. DO NOT DO IT. 

And what if you have closed the door on someone and they have suddenly broken through a window? Don’t get discouraged. It’s frustrating for sure, but you will get through it. Trust God, seek Him, and lay every single frustration at His feet. You will feel the world lift off your shoulders, I promise. 

If they try to force their way back into your life, keep walkin’. Don’t stop for even a second to entertain the thought. You’re better than that. You deserve better than that. Don’t let them convince you that you belong on their level. 

Proverbs 20:3 says this, “Any fool can start arguments; the honorable thing is to stay out of them” (TEV). 

I know it’s hard sometimes, but there are people who are only meant to be in your life for a season. Move on and don’t look back. 

Keep walkin’. You’ve got this. 

Xo — Britt

Misery Loves Company

Have you ever been around someone who is always miserable? Someone who

constantly searches for the negative in absolutely everything? How do you feel

after being around them? Miserable? It’s like they suck the life and joy right

out of you, right?

 

Do you know anyone like that? I’m sure you do. I can think of a few in my own

life right now. So how do we handle those less than positive people? 

 

•Pray for them. Pray that God would soften their hearts and allow Him to show

them the world through His eyes.

 

•Don’t allow the negativity to seep into your soul. Negative people hate being

around positive people. It upsets them, because everything upsets them. So be positive.

 

•Finally, this is the most important, remember that misery loves company. I’m

gonna let you in on a little secret, and this may shock you, but you don’t have to visit. That’s right, you don’t have to visit. When misery comes your way, just walk away. Sometimes this

can mean just creating a little distance between yourself and the person bringing you down, but sometimes it means walking away.

 The latter is not easy. Walking away doesn’t mean that you don’t care or you

don’t love them. It just means that you care enough about yourself to not let

anyone steal your joy. You deserve to be happy! Refuse to let anyone convince

you otherwise.

 

The next time misery knocks on your door, pretend you aren’t at home. You can

even be dramatic about it. Turn off all the lights, crawl across the floor and

hide in a closet if ya want. My point is, getting sucked into misery and drama is

not worth it.

 

Pray about the situation. Pray for the people involved. And if distancing

yourself isn’t enough, and God is leading you in a different direction, walk

away.

Xo — Britt