Today’s post is very dear to my heart and has been one of the hardest ones to write. I have so much I want to say and so much I feel like I can’t say. There are no words. So we’re just going to dive right in. Ya ready? Here we go.
There is an elderly couple that attends my church and every time I speak with them, I leave hurt. I have gone so far as to avoid them at all costs, but unfortunately a few weeks ago, I was cornered on my way in for the Sunday morning service. Every single time I see these two, they ask me the same question, “Do you have a boyfriend yet?”
And I’m asked twice because they don’t hear the other one ask me the first time. This question is brought up Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Thursday night. Every. Single. Time. The one that kills me is the Sunday night one. They literally asked me if I was dating someone a few hours ago, do they really think I entered into a relationship that quickly? It’s so tempting to just be like, ‘Yeah, I stopped at the gas station on my way here and decided I’d just pick one up while I was there.’ Seriously.
So clearly, avoiding them has become a necessity. My last run in with them a few weeks ago was one of the worst ones yet. They started in with the boyfriend questions, I politely answered and slowly started scanning the room for someone, ANYONE, I could talk to instead; when she started to tell me why I didn’t have a boyfriend. As I stood trying to listen, one of my best friends walked in. I quickly excused myself and started to walk away when she barked these words at me that pierced my heart like a hundred tiny daggers: “You better get your life together one of these days. Just pick someone and settle down. You’re not getting any younger. You should’ve stayed with the last one. You’d be engaged right now.”
My dear friends, I cannot tell you how hard it was for me to not just explode right there. I have so many things to say and it would take me hours to completely empty my heart of it all. So let me just start with this. First of all, I don’t care what anyone tells you, you do not need a man to get your life together. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I may not be married, but that does not mean I don’t have my life together. It’s not perfect by any means, but I love it. Ladies, you do not need a man to complete you and you definitely don’t need a man to start living your life and get it together.
Secondly, settling for someone just because you want to be married is one of the biggest mistakes you could ever make. God has a much bigger plan for you than you can see right now. I don’t know about you, but I sure as heck am not about to forfeit the amazing plan He has for me just because someone tells me I should.
And finally, be careful who you listen to. I love when people, who don’t even know me, like this couple, tell me who I should and should not be with. Ya see, the people in my life who actually matter and actually know me, know why my last relationship ended. They, unlike this couple, know exactly who my old boyfriend really is, and believe me, he had everyone fooled. The true friends I have in my life know that going back to that relationship will never, ever, ever, happen. And if it does, I should be sent to a mental hospital immediately because I have absolutely lost my mind.
I know the path that God has called me to. It’s not considered normal, I’m well aware of that. And it’s moments like these that I’m even more aware of it. We’re not called to be part of this world. We’re set apart and called to do extraordinary things for Christ.
To my single pringles, don’t give up. Help the toxic and negative people exit your life and surround yourself with people who will build you up and speak into your life. If you feel like you don’t have anyone in your life that believes in you, I’m always here. (email@example.com) You can message me ANYTIME.
You are worth so much more. Don’t settle. Don’t give up. Allow God to grow your faith and take you places you never imagined.
We will get through this together.